2 REASONS WHY

Sometimes you don't know how to start telling a story. I am not good either, reasons, the heart. The heart is seemingly the engine of fate. Have you ever fallen in love with someone but you knew that both of you won't work? I know you probably think that I should have tried. Good. We always give it a try but then everything slips through your fingers. You're left with a broken soul and untamed ideas about love. You feel heartless after that. You stop seeing anyone and no one runs through your mind. Empty. Empty heart. When I first met Zainab, I could not even recall her looks later after she texted me. Except for the black hijab and bright eyes, nothing else. To be sincere, I got interested in her when a friend mentioned how she had a nice bum. You know me, I will happily die for Nyash. Lerno was eyeing Zainab. I have always considered myself the price so I didn't give any damn attention to Zainab. Simultaneously, she became consistent in my inbox. She was straightforward. She confessed she liked me, she loved my vibe and style. (I don't even know what my vibe feels like). I am smiling. I remember the very day I offered to meet her. I had to skip classes for that, not a bad idea either, they(lecturers) don't examine what they actually teach.) Back to Zainab, she pulled up in a beautiful purple Buibui and a matching hijab. The Buibui did almost nothing to hide her curvy body, if that really is the purpose. She made quick baby steps and shook my hand, have in mind, that was the first day we purposed to meet. I led the way to the Bus stage, we boarded a Tuktuk and that is how I unlocked my Bamburi bedsitter at 10am, Zainab leaning close to me. Her eyes were excited, I guess, she was eager to know what actually happens in there. Are you following? Good. Surprisingly, I had one old Kenpoly chair in my room. Comrades don't have chairs, they eat seated on their beds like patients in hospitals. I took the chair fast. She willingly sat on the bed. She mused about the room, the nice scent, the bed and everything. She was happy, I guess she couldn't believe she was there. She is beautiful. She is the kind of girl that you will stare at speechlessly, that babyish look on her face, her soft spoken nature, she is a vibe. What was I doing on the chair? Wow! I served her a drink and biscuits, and sat alongside her on the bed so that we could share. Halfway our refreshments we majored on talking. She looked deep in my eyes and explained the first day we actually talked in an exam room for a common unit, for real I could not recall that was her. I chipped in mentioning that at least we had finally met after few long days of chatting. She moved closer, sitting up on yoga position. She loves doing yoga, you should see her waist bro. I sat up closer to her, talked sweet nothings silently and she in turn watching my lips. Closer and closer she moved, until I couldn't talk anymore, Zainab was all over my lips. She was eating the breath out of my lungs. Perhaps I should not go into deep details of that whole erotic moment. Otherwise, I should mention her beauty, how she was hot and hungry. I noticed that over that moment, she was no longer the soft spoken Zainab, she moaned her heart out, she muttered in Arabic and Mashallahs. Next door was my Luo neighbor, a single mother of two. I swear she was jealous. Oh! I forgot to turn on the music system. It was not a bad idea either that my neighbors know I am straight and powerful. An hour or so later, we took a break, only to venture on five minutes later, exactly what I wanted, what she loved. That was the way for a whole month and my lectures saw little of me. She was drawn into passion and I remember a time she missed an exam so that we could spend time. I didn't like that, I felt like she was doing too much. She would bring food along. Oh I didn't tell you that a time when I was staying with a friend, he had the longest periods of exiles in his entire life. Zainab would knock at 8am and go back home at 5pm. Obviously, the fellow felt like he should put more energy on school and coming over to sleep in the evenings. I don't know if those who never went to Kenyan campuses relate this. End of semester took us by surprise, I had to leave for Nairobi. The moment I told Zainab that I was traveling the following week, she broke into tears and complained that I should have informed her earlier. That felt to me like a distraction from my family and freedom. So what the hell, I shouldn't go home? She was joking. Amidst our intimate moments, she complained of the same. That messed me up. You know when someone makes you feel empty and unemotional? Probably. But that was not the worst of all mistakes, she said that she would go out on another guy if I left her. I packed her handbag and motioned her to dress up. I actually did her hijab, I can't recall how this happened so fast. I told her I had an idea, and that we should go out. We boarded a bus for Sabasaba where she would alight and proceed to Majengo. That was what happened. That was the last day we saw. I blocked her, and the last time I checked, she had also blocked me. Good. We are a nice pair. We move on so fast. Looking back, there is no loss on my part. I don't hold ill feelings against her, rather, I saw an opportunity to be my own self, a loaner. Of course, the moment she alighted at Sabasaba, I thought of this storyline. I thought of the two reasons why I was calling it quits with Zainab. Reason, she had gone overboard. Reason, she wanted to control me. Two reasons why. How beautiful it is to be a realist writer! Vehemently, we all have to embrace our standards and be ourselves, perhaps, we might hurt others but it never pains to be you. Whoever feels bad about it, let them purpose to find serenity in their bitterness.